Does the 'baby blues' affect dads? 🤔

Hi, this is Dan from Dad Psych.

Every Wednesday, we deliver an informative newsletter backed by psychological insights, designed for soon-to-be and new dads.

Here’s what’s on the menu today:

• 🤔 Does ‘The Baby Blues’ affect dads?

• 😌 Find your chill spot & make it a regular thing

• 🧏‍♂️ We want to hear from you!  

• 😂 Scared straight… by a GIF

Does ‘The Baby Blues’ affect dads?🤔 

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to feel the ‘right’ way, it just feels impossible.

You might be sitting there with a baby on the way or already holding your newborn, but you still feel down and generally not great. Then, you start questioning yourself, thinking, "Am I a monster for not being happy about this?".

This is something many guys go through, and often, they bury it in typical bloke fashion. But what if I told you that some of these feelings might actually be signs of a specific type of depression?

Let me introduce Paternal Perinatal Depression (PPND).

What is it?

It's very similar to postpartum depression (when mothers become depressed after birth) but it's specifically for dads, and can begin either pre baby or post baby.

Now, before you dismiss it as something not worth reading about, some studies have found up to 25% of new dads experience this, varying in levels of severity.

What are the symptoms?

How can it effect mine and baby's life?

Paternal perinatal depression can seriously affect both dads and their children. When a new father has PPND, it can lead to behaviors like substance abuse, disordered eating, and poor impulse control as ways to cope.

Children of fathers with PPND are at risk for developmental delays, mental health issues, and emotional or behavioral problems, which can hinder their learning and academic success long-term.

Yeah, this is not something you want to bury and tackle another day.

How can I get help?

First, contact your GP. They can help with your mental health, whether before or after your baby arrives. They can also connect you with local services like talking therapies or prescribe medication if needed. Don’t hesitate to explore these options, they’re there to help.

It’s also helpful to talk with other dads who understand. Many NHS trusts offer local support groups, and if in-person isn’t an option, look for online forums or social media groups for similar support.

One of my own personal favourites is r/NewDads. Great community!

You will overcome this 💪

Remember, with the right support and understanding of what’s going on in your head, it’s more than possible to overcome PPND.

Learn, identify, address!

Find your chill spot & make it a regular thing 😌

After speaking to so many dads over the past few years, one recurring theme stood out: they all had, or still have, a ‘chill spot’ they retreat to, both before and after their partners were pregnant.

It’s just a place where they can unwind and disconnect for an hour or so. And yes, before you think it, most of them chose the pub as their safe haven.

Nothing wrong with that once in a while—until you become the guy whose missus shows up at your local, crying baby in one hand and divorce papers in the other. We’ve all seen it, don’t pretend you haven’t.

Well, maybe that’s a bit extreme, but in a culture like ours, where every problem is apparently solved with alcohol, it’s difficult to find alternatives.

So, what’s the advice then?

Am I going to sit here suggesting going on a yoga retreat once a week in the forest?

No.

How about going to the library to read a book?

No.

Taking up Karate at your nearest Dojo?

No.

The point is, while those suggestions might not be for me, they could be exactly what you need. The goal is to find your own space, activity, or even just some downtime, and make it a safe haven away from crying kids or an arsey wife.

You’ll be surprised at what a few hours a week can do for your mental health through such a crazy stage of your life.

But make sure you go home at some point though, I’m not being the reason you decided to live in the woods for the rest of your life.

We want to hear from you! 🧏‍♂️

• Veteran Dad?

• Newbie but have some fantastic stories to share?

We’re just getting started here at Dad Psych, so we’d love to hear your new Dad stories. No matter what the topic is, we want to hear it!

Reply to this email with your chance to feature in our next newsletter!

Scared straight… by a GIF 😂

I never really took my health seriously until I was told the news that I was going to be a dad.

Trust me, I’m no gym bro by any stretch of the imagination, but once I found out, I got myself a gym membership straight away and put down the kebabs.

Why though? Because of the GIF below.

Shocked me into a salad, it really did.

That’s about it for now, have a great week.

- Dan from Dad Psych

Copyright (C) Dad Psych